Sharing or Avoiding? Embracing Awkward for the Truth
Walt Bennett
Walt Bennett is the Executive Director for Organic Outreach International. Walt shares teaching and coaching responsibilities with Kevin and Sherry as well as overseeing all of our day-to-day operations including content and systems development, and church and international partnerships. Walt is located in the Houston, Texas area and leads that hub of our operations in addition to his overall organizational responsibilities.
I remember vividly the first time I asked a girl on a date. I was absolutely terrified. I spent weeks mulling over exactly the right approach. There were sleepless nights agonizing over the potential of rejection. Day after day, I looked for just the right opportunity but the perfect moment seemed like it would never come. I would sweat like I had just been in gym class every time I was about to go into the same class with her. My focus in class was suffering. My friends kept asking me what was off – I just wasn’t the same Walt.
And then, after almost a month of agonizing, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to pull the trigger. When the moment came, it was far from perfect. I was passing her at her locker and I threw all caution and reason aside and took the plunge. Nothing was right about the circumstances according to all the times I had envisioned the approach, but I simply had to do something before my life completely fell apart. I slowly approached, my mind racing to come up with the right words to say. The smile on her face as she saw me approaching, that same “friends” smile I had seen for months, had me transfixed. I was frozen in place and she began to get an odd look on her face. Finally, the words just tumbled out “Would it be okay if we went to a movie this weekend?” WHAT!?!?!? How ambiguous could I be, and yet, there it was. This was my Rubicon and I had jumped with both feet…in my mouth.
The tension was palpable as I waited for the death blow of rejection. All the sleepless nights, day sweats, distraction, and doubts had led to this one moment in time when she said… ”That would be great!” As I was fighting back the tears of rejection that I was anticipating, I was utterly confused. My expectations and what I actually heard were not lining up. I stood there in absolute silence for what seemed like minutes but I am certain it was only seconds. She had said yes! NOW what?!?!
Over my years in ministry, I have spoken to tens of thousands of Christians and pastors around the world about sharing Jesus with nonbelievers. At every event, there are always some who will come to me after the teaching is over and tell me that they are terrified to have any kind of spiritual conversation with nonbelievers they know because they are afraid of rejection or of not knowing exactly what to say. I am certain that those few who have come forward are drop in the bucket and most likely represent a significant percentage of those who were in attendance, and of Christians around the world.
"My expectations and what I actually heard were not lining up. I stood there in absolute silence for what seemed like minutes but I am certain it was only seconds. She had said yes! NOW what?!"
It is this same fear of rejection I had before my first date. And yet, my raging teenage hormones were enough to get me to sprint past my fears, or perhaps hobble past my fears is more accurate. Fear of rejection is something we all have in all situations in our lives. When it comes to applying for jobs or colleges, or to asking someone out on a date, we find a way to get past that fear. When it comes to sharing Jesus Christ it often becomes an excuse for not engaging. If it is important enough for us to forge ahead in the many secular areas of our lives to overcome this fear of rejection, why do we have so much trouble overcoming this same fear when it comes to the most important thing in creation? I believe that it is because we are trying to carry the full responsibility of making disciples on our own shoulders. We are holding ourselves completely responsible for the possibility that someone will shut us down and not engage with us in a meaningful relationship where we can show them the character of Jesus. The problem with this is twofold. We are not relying enough on the Holy Spirit and approaching the call to make disciples as a partnership, and we are taking any rejection personally. The reality that I have experienced is that when we go with the Holy Spirit, we lose that fear of rejection and responsibility. My experience is also that when we approach making disciples in this way, combined with gentleness and respect, we are rarely rejected. This doesn’t mean that every nonbeliever we engage with is going to come to Christ in the time that we know them, but it means that people are generally open to engage in relationships when we lead with genuine love and concern for who they are and the life they lead. If we can get over our fears in the everyday scenarios of potential rejection, how much more important is it that we overcome these same fears when it comes to sharing the Truth? And even when there is a rejection, it is not a rejection of us, it is a rejection of the Truth…for now.
That first date of mine turned into a relationship for a few months and then fizzled out. After pushing past the fear of that first invitation, it got easier and easier. Since then, I have asked several girls and women out on first dates, some resulted in rejection, and some in relationships lasting months or years. That is until the last time I asked. That final invitation has led to over 24 wonderful years of marriage. Seek the Holy Spirit as you become engaged with those God has placed in your life who have yet to believe. In partnership with Him, overcome your fear and make the move. Who knows, it may just lead someone down the path to eternal life. We should have a greater fear of NOT engaging than we do of engaging.
26 “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me. 27 And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.” (The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Jn 15:26–27.