Many teams have levels 1-3 covered, but level 4 (lack of accountability) is often where they get stuck. The lack of willingness to have hard conversations fuels a lot of business for consultants. Leaders don’t want to sit down with someone and talk about the hard truth. So they ignore it, the problem behavior continues, and then other team members either leave or, even worse, become disengaged to the point that it negatively impacts the performance of the entire organization. I’ll give you some tips for having these hard conversations in the next article.

In Bob’s case, he was able to facilitate a group discussion, and the board agreed on three of the dysfunctions that were a struggle for them. Just admitting this was huge progress! I worked with a board recently that went through a similar exercise. They never had any disagreements openly even though there were many times board members didn’t like the direction they were headed. We discussed what small shifts could be made to increase conflict (in a good way) and encourage people to be more open. The directors also demanded that the executive director hold them more accountable.

When working with volunteers, addressing these dysfunctions can be even more challenging. When people aren’t paid, leaders are even more reticent to express their concerns. A church culture of “playing nice” can triple this tendency and lead to an environment where issues are rarely discussed openly. But if we want to create a successful ministry, whether through paid employees or volunteers, we must face the hard issues and work through them together.

Exercise for Increasing Vulnerability

Lack of vulnerability is the first level of dysfunction, and many things can spiral out of control from there. Even teams who’ve worked together for years can have a lack of vulnerability. Here’s one exercise I routinely do with new groups the first time we meet, which can be used to help any team grow together.

First, I ask everyone to share their name and some basic information about what they do, such as their title and key duties. The second time around, I ask them to answer three questions that Lencioni suggests in his Field Guide:

1. Where they grew up
2. Number of siblings
3. Greatest childhood challenge
   
   

As the leader, you must go first and be very transparent and vulnerable with the challenge that you share. You set the tone for what comes next so dig deep. It doesn’t have to be a long saga with lots of details, but it should be something that reveals a personal challenge. For me, I talk about how I was made fun of a lot growing up, how it still impacts me today at networking events, and how I have to push through this. You will be amazed at the stories that follow. Bob said his group spent an hour and a half on this part of the exercise! They had never opened up so much and they actually asked, “Can we do this every time?”

When we connect, we understand intent, and that leads to trust.

These ideas may seem simple, but I find simple works. People want straightforward, open, and honest dialogue. If they don’t want honest dialogue or won’t engage in it, you probably don’t need them in your organization. You have the opportunity to role model what you want to see, and keeping it simple and direct is a great place to start.

If your organization isn’t functioning at its best, it’s time for some straight talk about dysfunction and vulnerability as a first step on the path to improvement. It’s not going to be easy and it might be a little uncomfortable for you and your team, but it will be worth the effort as you begin to see your team transform.